In my view, this behaviour is often just a part of the growing-up process, something many children experience. As we mature, we naturally develop more refined ways of expressing ourselves.
I rest my case.
But let us examine what true spiritual masters say on the subject.
Buddha on personal responsibility
The famous Buddha quote “Don’t follow me, don’t believe me blindly, etc.…” floating around all over the internet is fake and can be found in no available Buddhist Sutras.
This one, however, is not fake:
Kalama Sutra
“Now, Kalamas, don’t go by reports, by legends, by traditions, by scripture, by logical conjecture, by inference, by analogies, by agreement through pondering views, by probability, or by the thought, ‘This contemplative is our teacher.’
When you know for yourselves that, ‘These qualities are skilful; these qualities are blameless; these qualities are praised by the wise; these qualities, when adopted & carried out, lead to welfare & happiness’ — then you should enter & remain in them.”
Loosely paraphrasing the Kalama Sutra:
“Do not believe in anything (simply) because you have heard it; Do not believe in traditions, because they have been handed down for many generations; Do not believe in anything, because it is spoken and rumoured by many; Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books;
But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.”
And to drive my point right in:
XX.276. (Dhammapada):
“You yourselves must strive; the Buddhas only point the way.”
There is no need to give to others (not even to gurus, lamas, and teachers) that which can not be given: inner freedom (responsibility and personal, intimate effort).
Sri Krishna on personal responsibility
In essence, the Gita recognizes individual liberty and leaves the ultimate choice in the hands of the seeker. Liberal and without prejudice, the Bhagavad Gita is Lord Krishna’s gift to humankind to help us deal with the turbulence of life as rationally as is humanly possible.
Sri Krishna, considered by millions and millions of Vaishnavas to be the one Supreme Personality of Godhead, goes all out and shares His wisdom about many, many important things (the text we know now as Bhagavad Gita). In the end, He says to Arjuna: do as you wish:
18.63 BG:
Thus, I have explained to you the most confidential of all knowledge.
Deliberate on this fully, and then do what you wish to do.
3.33 BG
Even a man of wisdom behaves according to his own nature.
Beings follow (their) nature. What can restraint do?
3.35 BG
One’s own duty, though defective, is superior to another’s duty well-performed.
Death is better while engaged in one’s own duty; another’s duty is fraught with fear.
Clearly, Sri Krishna states that it is better to follow your path, even if it is defective and leads to death than to follow the path of others.
Quran on personal responsibility
Allah says:
“You began to say: Whence is this? Say: It is from yourselves.” [Sûrah Âl `Imrân: 165]
Allah also tells us:
“Truly, Allah does not change the condition of a people until they change what is within themselves.” [Sûrah al-Anfâl: 53]
No one can change what is within us except ourselves, not even Allah or God (if you believe in God). So, why seek or wait for solutions outside?
Jiddu Krishnamurti on personal responsibility
My favourite:
“Responsibility has quite a different meaning when there is freedom. Responsibility does not deny freedom; they go together. When there is the deep fundamental reality of freedom, responsibility is concerned with the whole of life and not with one fragment of life; it is concerned with the whole movement and not with some particular movement; it is concerned with the entire activity of the mind and the heart and not with one particular activity or direction.
Freedom is the total harmony in which responsibility is as natural as the flower in the field. That response is not induced or imposed; it is the natural outcome of freedom.
Without responsibility, there is no freedom.
To respond to every challenge out of freedom is a responsibility. It is an inadequate response that is irresponsible. The mind that is dependent on attachment becomes irresponsible to the whole.”
(Book: The Whole Movement of Life Is Learning, CH. 66, Without responsibility, there is no freedom.)
To drive his point right in:
Any acceptance of authority is the very denial of Truth.
– J. Krishnamurti
Namkhai Norbu Rinpoche
Namkhai Norbu was the first Dzogchen Master to openly teach the highly secret and precious teachings of the Great Perfection in the West. His approach was open, genuine, down-to-earth, and non-dogmatic.
On many occasions, He stressed the importance of an individual over traditions and societies.
He understood the need for individual development (a daring statement for a Tibetan, in my honest opinion):
“The Truth is that a better society will only arise through the evolution of the individual. This is because society is made up of millions of individuals.
To count to a million, one has to start with number one, which means one has to start with the individual, the only real place one can actually begin to change something.
This doesn’t mean putting oneself first in an egotistical way; rather, it involves coming to understand the condition of humanity as a whole through understanding our own experience.
With this experience as our guide, we will know how to behave with awareness in any circumstance in every type of society.”
– Namkhai Norbu
Master Therion
Thelema, the system of spiritual practices introduced through Master Therion, is very articulate about individuality and personal and transpersonal liberty.
He uttered many essential things, this being appropriate for the subject under discussion:
“It is necessary that we stop, once and for all, this ignorant meddling with other people’s business. Each individual must be left free to follow his own path.”
– Aleister Crowley (1975). “The Commentaries of AL: Being the Equinox Volume V, No. 1”, Weiser Books
The great Master could have expressed it differently:
We must finally put a stop to this childish and ignorant search for validation and solutions from others. Each person should depend on themselves and pursue their own path.
– Frater 418.’.